First days at home

It's so hard to try to blog about everything that has happened and that I have felt since I came home from the hospital. I guess I'll start by saying that last week was probably my favorite week of my entire life. Josh and I have just fallen so in love with our sweet baby. We spent the week on an adrenaline high, which helped us get through the days after not getting as much sleep, and enjoyed every second of getting to know our adorable, precious gift from God. I have loved getting to know his little faces he makes, his coos, his sweet smell and soft skin. This week has been a little harder. It was a little more back to reality, as my mom went back to work and Josh went back to working full days. I didn't realize how much that extra set of hands helped! I am now trying to find some sense of normalcy and routine to my days and trying to deal with the ups and downs of having a new baby at home. The downs are the getting up in the middle of the night, still healing from the delivery, and adjusting to the life change of it not being just the two of us anymore. As much as we wanted this life change, it still takes time to adjust to a new normal. The ups are the fact that we have our beautiful, healthy baby boy, who melts our hearts every time we look at him. I love seeing Josh practically run into the house after work to hold him. I love how even when he wakes us up in the middle of the night to be changed and fed, I miss him and am happy to hold him and give him lots of kisses. I'm going to try to get better about blogging, as I'm learning to put James down when he sleeps instead of holding him and staring at him constantly! If you have my photo album bookmarked, I finally took the time today to organize all of the photos of his birth, coming home from the hospital, and first days at home, so check it out!

My Labor and James' Birth Story

On my due date, April 15th, I was feeling very antsy and ready for James to get here. I felt like there was no possible way I'd ever go into labor on my own. Around 6 pm, Josh and I headed over to Elizabeth and Bryon's house to eat Rosati's pizza with the whole gang (including Michael and Jilinda). I felt an ever so slight contraction on the car ride over and was surprised! I had had some Braxton Hicks before, but nothing that felt like that. A little while later, I felt another one just like that! They never quite went away! That continued on, and I told my family what happening. We ate pizza, and I started getting really excited, because they just kept on and on. After dinner we started timing them, and they were happening about every 5 minutes. I had told everyone when we got there that I really wanted to go to Katie's custard to get ice cream after dinner, so we decided to head over there. At that point, I was scared that if I went somewhere, they would stop (I don't know why...I just did!). Well, when we got there, they didn't stop. They only got slightly stronger. I couldn't eat the ice cream by the time I got it, because that was the first moment I kind of knew that I was going to be having James soon, and I had lost my appetite!

When we got back to Elizabeth's, Josh and I decided to walk home (to speed things along) so I could take a shower. I called the Dr. when we got home (around 8:30), and he said that since it was my first baby, it would probably be a long time before I was ready to come to the hospital. He said to call back in a couple of hours, though, if the contractions increased. I took a shower and could feel them getting stronger.

Josh and I walked back over to Elizabeth's to hang out with everyone, since the family was still together, and were just in disbelief that it was really happening! We were very excited and anxious! Elizabeth blogged for me, because I couldn't form thoughts other than ("I'm in labor!"), and we were just giddy. Around 10:30, I called the doctor back and told him that my contractions were stronger and closer together. He said to go ahead and go up to the hospital to get checked.

Josh and I drove up there and arrived around 11pm. Josh, Mom, and I were in the room before the admission room and they started checking me. They told me that I was barely a 1, if that, and that it was going to be a looooong time before James would be ready to come out. For the next hour, the nurse kept checking me, and I started having really strong and much more painful contractions. Every time she'd check me, though, she told me that I hadn't dilated any more. I started telling her that I was ready for an epidural, because I was extremely uncomfortable. I kept trying to switch sides to feel better, but nothing would help. I think the nurse probably thought I was being a baby, but I knew it was bad!

Around 12pm, she checked me and said I was maybe a 1 1/2-2. She said I had the choice to go home, take an Ambien, and get some rest, or walk around and get rechecked. (The only reason she suggested that was because she acknowledged that my contractions were strong) I didn't know what to do, but Josh and my mom suggested I stay in the waiting room (where Elizabeth was).

At this point, my contractions started getting extremely painful. Elizabeth helped me with some techniques (leaning over on a chair and rocking back and forth, and squatting) that semi-relieved some of the pain. Soon after, though, I started feeling really nauseous and threw up! Elizabeth went to tell the nurse, and she sent back a trash can(We thought the B-team was up there, since it was a Saturday night late, and the night before Easter)!! Elizabeth and my mom were getting irritated that they wouldn't just admit me, especially since my mom said that when you throw up, you're in transition, which is pretty advanced labor! By the time I threw up again, we went back down the hall and asked them to check me. This was around 12:30-12:45ish, and thankfully, when they checked me, I was at a 3.  I had progressed enough to be admitted.

At this point, I was begging for an epidural, and they put in the call to the doctor to okay it. The doctor took a long time to okay it, and then the anesthesiologist to a long time to get there. During this time, I was having horribly strong contractions that WOULD NOT STOP! Contractions are supposed to go up and down, but my just kinda stayed up there! I had Josh, my mom, and Elizabeth at my side trying to help me through each second, the nurse trying to keep me from hyperventilating by making me breath into a brown bag, and me trying to keep myself from cussing (I never do, but I was in SO much pain I didn't think I'd make it through).

By the time the anesthesiologist came in the room, they checked me to see how far along I was. I was at an 8, so the anesthesiologist just packed up his bag and left the room. Josh watched in horror, and I didn't realize what had just happened. I asked Josh, "When is he going to give me the epidural?", and he said, "Uh....you're too far along, baby. He just left!". I was very scared at that point, not knowing how much longer I could take the pain.  I remember saying over and over, "I can't do this!" and them saying, "Yes you can!" 

Moments after being checked, I started telling Elizabeth that I needed to go to the bathroom immediately. Elizabeth, having been through this before, knew that meant that James was on his way down. She told them to check me again, and they were hesitant, since they had just checked me moments before. She insisted, and they listened.

I will never forgot the words that followed that last check... "She's complete!" I was at a 10 and ready to push! All I remember was a bunch of scurrying around and the doctor running in and prepping. They were trying to get me to not push, but that was a joke! All I could do was push! Elizabeth got a nurse to put a mirror in front of me, thank goodness, the doctor got in position, and then I heard, "Push, Lauren, Push!!!". I pushed twice and saw his head. My mom squealed, "There he is, Lauren, PUSH!!!". That was an amazing moment! I pushed a third time, and out popped James Robert at 2:03am! (two hours after they were trying to send me home!)

I felt instantly wonderful! I tore really badly, but didn't feel that one bit.  For the next 45 minutes I laid there in a daze while the doctor stitched me up.  All I remember was Josh being instantaneously, madly in love with tears of joy, and thanking me over and over for going through that for our baby. It was the most beautiful moment in my life to date.

Since James came out so fast, not everything was squeezed out of him and he didn't cry right at first. Thankfully, I was oblivious, but my mom told me later that she was worried for that moment. They got it out fast, though, and he was just perfect! When I first held James, it felt very strange, and I didn't quite get that he was mine. When I breastfed him for the first time, my connection to him started. He ate really well, and I thought, "Hmmmm, I think I really like him!" The second time I breastfed, I thought, "Wow! I'm falling in love with him!", the third time, I felt love sick and was completely head over hills in love with him. The rest is history!!

Happy to be Home!

We're home and I'm feeling a little distracted, but I just wanted to write a couple of lines. Everything is going so well, and I can't believe how much we love little James in the short time we've known him. This week will be fun because Josh is taking off, and my mom and sister will be coming over to help. He's such a beautiful and sweet baby, and I'm anxious to get to know him more every day. Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I'll write more in the next few days. I'll post pictures soon.

I'm in Labor!

Just this morning, I was telling Elizabeth that I didn't think I could go into labor on my own. Apparently James had other plans!

Just one hour after I posted, I started having labor pains and they haven't stopped in four hours. I am not in a lot of pain yet, but they are getting more intense as I write.

Keep checking Elizabeth's and my blog and for updates and say a prayer for us tonight!

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I'm STILL here! I'm STILL blogging about my pregnancy! I hoped I would be able to blog about baby James this week, but apparently he's not ready to meet the world yet! Today is my actual due date. It's so strange how you think and talk about this one date for so long...like your wedding date, but when it get's here and nothing happens, it's so very strange! I had to make the decision on Friday to let go of wishing he would come early, and I actually do feel better and more relaxed about it all now. Josh and I decided to keep doing things that we won't be able to do next weekend on, so we went out to dinner almost every night of the week, went to a nice restaurant last night, and even played miniature golf after dinner! Josh has been very sweet to try to think of fun things to do to take our minds off of it. Tonight, my brother and sister-in-law are coming into town for Easter, so we're going to get together over at my sister's house for dinner and watch the kids have an Easter egg hunt. Tomorrow after church, we will have a big Easter dinner at her house again that I'm very excited about! I guess there are some benefits to being at home still! Well, Monday morning is my next appointment, so afterwards I will fill you in on the latest. Happy Easter to everyone!

Update

No change! This was definitely a disappointing appointment!! My next appointment is Monday morning, and he said that if he hasn't come by then, he'll induce me probably on the 21st. I never thought I'd go so close to my birthday! My mom was due with me on the 15th, and I came 9 days late. Just wanted to let you know!

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I'm a little late getting this week's post out, so now it's actually 5 days till my due date!!! As the end is approaching (or pretty much here), I can't help but reflect on these past nine months. It seems like a lifetime ago that Josh and I found out we were pregnant. So much has changed since then, as we have grown to love this little baby inside of me. We were ecstatic and in shock when we found out, and the days that followed were so much fun...daydreaming about what life was going to be like with our new little family and just being in awe that our child was already here on earth, growing inside of me. You can hear about it over and over again, but it's the strangest thing when it happens to you! Then we went through phases of it hitting one of us or the other and then it just being so bizarre to one of us or the other. I got obsessed with reading about what was going on that week with the baby, and would share it with Josh. Then, it was so much fun when I started to get a little belly! I would check for growth every day and even jumped the gun a few times, sending pictures of my belly out to a few friends, and then realizing the next day when it was gone, that I was just bloated! =) Then, what I call the magical stage started, when I started feeling him kick. I felt so connected to him, and loved going to work, and just having that little feeling inside that noone else could share. Not too long after that, Josh was able to feel him and even see moving (I think the first time was during church), which he was amazed by. It always seemed to happen at church, so we liked to say that he was very spiritual. I'll never forget the excitement we felt when we found out he was a boy! I kind of thought he was a girl, because everyone told me he was, but Josh always said he was a boy. I think he just wanted to be different, so that if he was, he could claim that he was the only one who knew! I was glad, though, that I was leaning towards girl, because when he told us he was a boy, I was completely shocked, which was quickly followed by giddiness, and then overwhelming excitement. I was in love with the fact that we were going to have a little boy, and immediately couldn't imagine him being anything else. (Of course, I know I would have felt the same way if it was a girl...you love what God gives you.). From that point on, it has just been getting through each week, and trying not to get overly anxious. I didn't realize, though, at this point how incredibly excited I would be. I can see how God has worked on me to get me prepared to be a mother. Josh and I have been overwhelmed lately by how blessed we feel by God, from the timing of everything to having such a healthy pregnancy. I just feel pure excitement and contentment right now about the upcoming birth and starting this new phase in our life. Of course, that is also accompanied by anxiousness, a little worry, and just tiredness of being pregnant! Friday was my last day at work, and I was just giddy at dinner by the feeling of that being the first day of the next phase in our life. It's so hard to get out strong feelings in writing, so forgive me if this sounds cheesy or boring...I just don't want to forget this feeling! Tomorrow morning is my 39 week appointment. I'm VERY anxious to find out if I changed at all. Hopefully I will not be posting a "0..." blog next weekend, and he'll already be here. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy our last days of life before baby. Please keep us in your prayers this week! I will definitely keep you posted and let you know if anything happens!

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The biggest thing to report this week is that the nursery is finished! After 3 months of hard work, the room is officially ready for our son! He had better appreciate this. Ha! I tried to take pictures of every angle for those of you who won't see it in person. I have not been able to sit still all week, which has been good because we have been able to get a lot done, but I am definitely wearing myself out every night. Josh is always up for my energy spurts, though, because he loves a clean, organized house. Now I can finally say we are ready for him to be here. His car seat is even in the car! All we are doing now is WAITING, for how long, only God knows! I hope God wants us to meet him this week...I don't know how much longer I can wait to find out what he looks like, what his little personality is, etc! This is also my last week of teaching. I was going to work up until the day, but have now decided to take the last week before he is supposed to come off to relax. I will miss my kiddos at school, but will definitely enjoy that time (if I get it). Here are the pics: