Monday, April 10, 2006

1...


I'm a little late getting this week's post out, so now it's actually 5 days till my due date!!! As the end is approaching (or pretty much here), I can't help but reflect on these past nine months. It seems like a lifetime ago that Josh and I found out we were pregnant. So much has changed since then, as we have grown to love this little baby inside of me. We were ecstatic and in shock when we found out, and the days that followed were so much fun...daydreaming about what life was going to be like with our new little family and just being in awe that our child was already here on earth, growing inside of me. You can hear about it over and over again, but it's the strangest thing when it happens to you! Then we went through phases of it hitting one of us or the other and then it just being so bizarre to one of us or the other. I got obsessed with reading about what was going on that week with the baby, and would share it with Josh. Then, it was so much fun when I started to get a little belly! I would check for growth every day and even jumped the gun a few times, sending pictures of my belly out to a few friends, and then realizing the next day when it was gone, that I was just bloated! =) Then, what I call the magical stage started, when I started feeling him kick. I felt so connected to him, and loved going to work, and just having that little feeling inside that noone else could share. Not too long after that, Josh was able to feel him and even see moving (I think the first time was during church), which he was amazed by. It always seemed to happen at church, so we liked to say that he was very spiritual. I'll never forget the excitement we felt when we found out he was a boy! I kind of thought he was a girl, because everyone told me he was, but Josh always said he was a boy. I think he just wanted to be different, so that if he was, he could claim that he was the only one who knew! I was glad, though, that I was leaning towards girl, because when he told us he was a boy, I was completely shocked, which was quickly followed by giddiness, and then overwhelming excitement. I was in love with the fact that we were going to have a little boy, and immediately couldn't imagine him being anything else. (Of course, I know I would have felt the same way if it was a girl...you love what God gives you.). From that point on, it has just been getting through each week, and trying not to get overly anxious. I didn't realize, though, at this point how incredibly excited I would be. I can see how God has worked on me to get me prepared to be a mother. Josh and I have been overwhelmed lately by how blessed we feel by God, from the timing of everything to having such a healthy pregnancy. I just feel pure excitement and contentment right now about the upcoming birth and starting this new phase in our life. Of course, that is also accompanied by anxiousness, a little worry, and just tiredness of being pregnant! Friday was my last day at work, and I was just giddy at dinner by the feeling of that being the first day of the next phase in our life. It's so hard to get out strong feelings in writing, so forgive me if this sounds cheesy or boring...I just don't want to forget this feeling! Tomorrow morning is my 39 week appointment. I'm VERY anxious to find out if I changed at all. Hopefully I will not be posting a "0..." blog next weekend, and he'll already be here. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy our last days of life before baby. Please keep us in your prayers this week! I will definitely keep you posted and let you know if anything happens!

5 comments:

Suzanne said...

aww! love you so much! i share in your excitement!!! i will be there soon to hold little baby james in my arms...we are praying for you, josh, and james during your childbirth!

Kristen OQ said...

I cannot wait -- can you post after your appointment tomorrow to let us know what you hear? I was be anxiously awaiting.

When I went to see Alyssa & Camryn in the hospital this weekend, it made me even more excited to see and meet James very soon.

Your post was heartfelt and perfect. Everyone that has a baby has felt the exact same feelings you are -- excitement mixed with worry mixed with giddiness mixed with nervousness, etc., etc.! You are going to do great and be such a good little mommy!

Keep us posted!!

Kristen OQ said...

AND...you look fantastic!

elizabeth said...

So sweet! I feel like I am James's "half mother" already so hurry up and let me meet him!

lauren said...

Amanda,
What is your blog address?? I'm so excited your going to do one!